The struggle continues.
I have good days.
I have bad days.
From last night and through out today was, not going to lie, crappy. I had another hard therapy session today. A tear never actually fell, though. Which to me, ridiculous as that may be, is a small accomplishment. However, it was very hard not to let one drop.
I have to maintain hope. How can I give up? I can't. Even though I want to at times. I just know that the Adversary is trying to destroy me. But God leads me on.
-sigh- I'm feeling low. I have so many frustrations. I so badly want to offer you some kind of hope right now. But I don't know what to say. Just keep going. Tomorrow is a new day. And yeah, it's possible that it may not be much better than today. But it's still a different day.
I do count my blessings still. I am surrounded by incredible people who are willing to be patient with me and who support me and still think highly of me.
Right before I left my therapist's office she asked me what I was going to do. I said, "I don't know. I'm going to feel crappy for the rest of the day and then I'll go and eat some Sparkle ice cream at the BYU creamery. And I'm going to pray everyday."
Aside from everything that's going on right now and no matter how black and blue I feel on the inside...I know that Heavenly Father lives and loves me. And he promised me he was going to give me the best. And I know that he will keep his promise. It's up to me now, to remember that. That is what I have to hold on to. His promise.
If you ask me, there's nothing better in the world to hold on to than a promise from my Father in Heaven.