"Remember that God has given us wondrous knowledge and techonology that can help us overcome grievous problems such as mental illness. Seriously mentally ill persons simply cannot, through an exercise of will, get out of the predicament they are in. They need help, encouragement, understanding and love...we don't say to persons with heart disease or cancer, 'Just grow up up and get over it.' Neither should we treat the mentally ill in such an uncompassionate and unhelpful way."
(Elder Alexander Morrison, Emeritus Seventy).

Monday, February 14, 2011

Shambles

Wow, how appropriate that the previous post was titled the "Ups and Downs". Then I was up. Now I am down.
Aside from having to talk for 45 minutes about my ex during therapy today and coming away in not-so-good shape, something else happened today. It happened at home. I won't write the details. Suffice it to say that I packed a bag of clothes, toiletries, a pillow and blanket, put them in my car and left.

And now I'm sitting here. I'm dropping one of my classes because I don't like it and can't make myself go to it.
And Satan is attacking me furiously with awful thoughts.
-You are ruining your life
-You are seriously crazed
-You are tearing up relationships all around you
-Your family does not support you. They think you are selfish and thoughtless.
-You are all alone
-Your life is in shambles.
-You are a disgrace
-No matter how hard you try to do something right, it doesn't work out or you make things worse.
-You are a failure
-You will never find a medication that works.
-This is your life. This is as good as it gets.

God help me.
I'll fight it. But God help me.
I can do this.
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