Last week, I finally felt the incline. I've been down lately, not so much with depression but anxiety. I haven't felt much of depression (until tonight, but more about that later). I have been riddled with anxiety for several weeks now. With little to no relief. Last weekend, after experiencing some bitterness (I will not submit myself to that) I spoke with one of my institute teachers and asked him if he had any advice for me. I was going to go talk to him after my work shift was over, but by that time, I was through with the day. I just wanted to go home. So, we planned on talking the following Monday. Which we did.
He gave me a book called, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. He gave me an overview of the book in his office and I have begun reading on my own. It's helped. It's helping right now. I now go through the same mental process that I go through with depression. I talk myself through it. I identify the source, acknowledge it, plan for it if I can and then give myself permission to stop worrying about it. I am happy to say that every time the anxiety has risen in my chest, tight, uncomfortable and sickening, I have been able to quickly get it under control. This whole last week has been good, I'm making progress. I'm doing well :)
I did have some depression this evening concerning on ongoing concern...I don't know what to do about it. I'll make a decision and then change my mind and then change my mind back and then back again. I come to conclusions and then revert back to older conclusions and frankly, I just want it to be over and done with.
Anyway, on the whole I'm doing well.
This is all a process and I know that with practice I will gain the control I need over my mind. And I will be a stronger person because of it.
Keep hope, my friends. The Lord is looking out for you. I know he is.
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