Every Good Thing

I knew the danger of starting this blog would be to not make it depressing. Not make those who read it more depressed than before they read these posts.
I also knew that this blog would be a toilet at certain times, where I would just throw everything up that's inside of me in expectancy of the relief that it would bring. Probably a pretty gross comparison, but it's not supposed to be gross. Just trying to help you understand what's going on :)

Heavenly Father is helping me so much. I’ve started reading another book called “The Promise of Enough”. It talks about how Christ came that we might live and live more abundantly. The author talks about how ‘each of us, for one reason or another, longs for abundance’, it could be because we’re lonely, have an illness, we need peace or comfort.

I can't help every time I hear of 'illness' I think of myself. Of course I want an abundance of health. But Ive never asked to be healed, specifically from depression or anxiety; because I feel like I'm experiencing these things in order to help others. And I'm willing (most of the time) to go through this for someone else. Things are always easier to do when they are for someone else. Not so easy when they're for me, intimately.

I also desire an abundance of understanding. I do so much better when I have an understanding of something. But again, if Heavenly Father's timetable isn't ready for me to understand what's going on than I will gladly settle for an abundance of peace. That's what I have been praying for for the past few days.

Think about it. Praying for an abundance of peace has brought...peace! Imagine that ;) I have already felt a difference. I'm coming to better grips with what has happened lately. I'm not all there yet, I still have a ways to go. But I'm willing to go, and that's progress.

I have a testimony that God hears and answers prayers. Prayers at any time, of every kind and of every request. He answers us.

I still don't know why this is happening, or even if there is a 'why'. I don't know when it will end, if ever. But I do know that Heavenly Father loves me very much and I see him helping me through every day. My confidence is in him. I can't even have confidence in myself because that would be trusting in the arm of flesh. It's all about leaning on his arm. And I have been doing that and I'm so much the better for it. He gives me the confidence I need to do his will.

There are still many good things in life. In my life. In your life. There are still many good things about me.

And every good thing I am, I owe to Him. :)