I Made a Difference to That One

Do you recall how many times throughout this blog I said that the easiest way for me to keep going through all the anguish and pain was thinking about the people I would be able to help someday with my experiences?

I haven't written about it yet, but now is the time; those times came to me this summer.

Every week without fail I was able to help a youth who was suffering from depression or anxiety. Every week. I had one week in Salt Lake where I helped three girls, one with anxiety, one with depression and one who suffered from night mares.

For the first time in a long time I experienced gratitude for what I have been through. I knew it would come because that's how Heavenly Father works, he works through us. And every experience we have will be consecrated for our good and for the good of others if we allow it to be so.

This is what I have wanted. This is why I decided to be open with my depression and anxiety, because I knew there were others out there who were going through the same thing and needed help and encouragement. I wanted to share with people that life doesn't end when you have depression or anxiety. You aren't always an individual who can help no one because you can't even help yourself. I'm not saying that you will never feel broken, several of my own blogs attest to my feeling exactly like that. If you suffer from depression and anxiety than you will have those moments when you have to rely heavily on others, maybe even longer than a moment, maybe years.

But there will come a time when you have finally become conqueror over this "thorn in the flesh" and you will have the opportunity to rise with a compassion born from inner conflict and be able to comfort the comfortless. You will have the unique experience to help those who once thought they were helpless. You will become a strength to those around you.

I expect future struggles. How else am I to grow? Some could say, you can't change the whole world's view concerning depression. You can't make a difference. Then again, my goal was never the whole world anyhow, but the one. The individual. A story of a boy comes to mind that I heard in church today:

A man was walking along the beach and saw a boy a short distance away who was gently picking things from the sand and tossing them back into the water. The man approached the boy and saw that he was throwing starfish back into the ocean. "Boy," he said. "What are you doing?" The boy replied, "The tide is going out and these starfish are stranded, I am throwing them back into the water to save them." The shook his head, "Boy, there are miles of beach and hundreds of starfish, you cannot possibly make a difference." After listening politely the boy picked up another starfish and tossed it into the surf and turned back to the man, "I made a difference to that one."

You can be that difference.

I rejoice because I was that difference. I was an instrument in the Lord's hand through my suffering. I have shared the yoke of the Savior, in a small way perhaps, but in my small way I made a difference to a couple handfuls of youth and great is my joy in bringing even one soul closer to Christ.

If you are suffering from depression or anxiety or any other ailment, stay faithful, the Lord will have need of your experiences to touch specific people.

So keep going, because you can do it!