Temporary

Had a hard night last night.

But on a whole things have been going remarkably well the last several weeks :)

But speaking of last night just to clear it away from me...it was as bad as me having to identify lies again. I can look back on the past several months and see how far I've come personally. I'm opening up again, becoming the social person I used to be. But after last night I'm fighting the desire to shut down again. Shut people out. Shut up inside. And pretend that I'm doing better than I actually am. I don't feel like seeing anyone or being around anyone. I feel like going back to bed; but at the same time that's a scary thought. What will be fixed by going back to bed? Nothing. Nothing at all. I would just lay there and sleep and then wake up and cry and then roll over and go back to sleep and that's all that would happen. Nothing more.

Man, I feel sick inside.
And do you want to know the worst part about it? I don't feel like I have anyone to go to. I don't have anyone who I feel really cares. Does that lie sound familiar? I know I've written that one down before.

On a lighter note, do you know what I know is true? I know that this won't last too long. It might even be gone by tomorrow. It's just temporary. It will get better soon and I'll be feeling better soon, too.